My home is in danger of flooding. That’s what I faced yesterday afternoon.
If you don’t know, I live in the country in Texas. We’ve had record rain the past couple of weeks; not record for the year, but for a short time period. A few years ago, when we did have record rain for the year, I used a hoe and a shovel to build up the edge of the back tank (pond) to prevent it overflowing and flooding into the house. The path from the tank goes straight to the house, and it goes downhill. But I still felt overcautious; I didn’t expect the water level to ever go higher than the record.
Well, I checked it yesterday afternoon. The bank I’d built up was almost at the point of overflowing. The water was higher than it has ever been. My home was in danger. It would be a major project building up the bank, and that would be in the rain and the soon-coming dark. With nothing but a hoe and a shovel. There didn’t seem to be any way I could do it in time.
But then I thought of something. Earlier this year I cleared a curved, side path through the brush and the trees with a hoe, a shovel, and a saw. Clearing it in my spare time, it took me months to do. It had no practical purpose whatsoever (other than giving me exercise). The straight path went to the same place. The side path was technically redundant, useless. But the brush and trees had grown so thick after that record rain of a few years ago, I had no place to go where I could feel like I was in the woods without seeing a building. So I made the curved, impractical path–that was slightly lower than the surrounding area.
So for an hour and a half in the rain, I used a hoe and shovel. It was enough. Now, if the back tank does overflow, the water will flow over the bank of the tank, start down the straight path, then detour down the lower curved side path and harmlessly into the woods.
That path may have saved my home.
So remember that the next time you think something is “useless.”
An opinion of an individual members of The Loveshade Family does not necessarily reflect the views of the entire family.
The photo is by Walter Siegmund and is not by Alden’s home. It is under a GNU 1.2 or later license.
“In telecommunications including radio, frequency modulation (FM) is the encoding of information in a carrier wave by varying the instantaneous frequency of the wave. In practice, it is used as a form of mind control.”
This article featured on the front page of uncyclopedia reads more like Wikipedia than Wikipedia–but in a very twisted way. It was composed by article by a couple friends of this site, Miley Spears and Pope Hilde,
Is Australian-American movie actor, director, producer Mel Gibson actually a gibbon? Or is Mel Gibbon actually a Gibson? And what do Mad Max, Lethal Weapon, The Passion of the Christ, Planet of the Apes and the Marx Brothers have in common?
Frequent poster Miley Spears authored this spoofing Wikipedia-like article that twists the facts as illustrated “purposely crappily” by Alden Loveshade. The article was chosen by Uncyclopedia editors to be featured on the front page. Read it and go ape!
An opinion by guest blogger Faizeh Al-Zarqa. This was originally posted one year ago, but is as relevant today as it was then.
A couple weeks ago, we were watching Samantha Bee and she was showing a clip of Rep. Louis Gohmert rambling on in his usual nonsensical way, and she made some jokes and said something to the effect of “Thank goodness there’s no one crazier than Louis Gohmert!” At that moment, I turned to Drew and said, “Except Steve King.” I had barely finished saying that when she rolled the clip, and Gohmert was relinquishing his time to his colleague and friend Steve King, who went on to say more ridiculous things. In case you don’t remember who Steve King is, he’s the representative from Iowa who loves to say (in seriousness) racist things. Last fall, I watched, live, as he stated that all good things and societal advances have been made by white people. He argued with the other people on the panel when they tried to correct him. He is someone who truly believes white people are superior to others, and more importantly, a whole lot of people think he is a good representative for them.
Science has shown us again and again that when a person or group in power must relinquish any portion of that power, even to make things more equitable, they will often perceive that loss of power as persecution and/or oppression. The interesting thing is that often, groups who have been the minority groups are so socialized to accept the power of the majority group that they will often perceive that loss of power as unjust as well. Our brains are malleable and fascinating! One study on gender equality in the classroom showed that when the teacher purposely made time talking in class equal between genders, both groups perceived that the women were talking 90% of the time and the men only 10%, even though they each had the floor 50% of the time. Typically, men and boys take up about 80% of classroom talking time.
Anyway, back to Steve King. Clearly, he represents a lot of people who are either in agreement with his racial viewpoints, or not bothered by them. Clearly he is able to walk the halls of the capital and make friends with others who are either in agreement or not bothered by them. This is not just your racist uncle you have to try and ignore on holidays.
While it may feel good to punch nazis, that response does nothing beyond giving these people another way to feel persecuted. I would suggest another method- ostracizing them. Stop working with them. Stop tolerating them. Stop f***ing voting for them. Contrary to the “rugged individualism” myth Americans fancy about themselves, we are, in fact, wholly dependent on each other. Denying people our resources and company because they don’t deserve any goodwill will probably not get them to practice self examination, but it will force them to bury those destructive and evil views where they will only eat at the holder of said views.
Faizeh Al-Zarqa is a dancer and dance instructor who also raises awareness of social issues, some that are often missed. In the Kingdom of Caid in the Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA), she has served as Regent, Minister of Arts & Sciences Officer, Kingdom Chatelaine (administrator for newcomers), Regent, and Queen.
An opinion of a poster to The Loveshade Family Blog does not necessarily reflect the views of the whole family.
All right, so the articles “Preteen” and “Donald Trump declares Space Force” are not connected. Other than they’re both satire, both on Uncyclopedia, and both written by a member or associate of The Loveshade Family.
Photo credits appear on the respective articles.
The linked articles do not necessarily reflect the views of The Loveshade Family or of any preteen or resident of planet Earth.
To me, Donald Trump being president of the United States is not a Republican/Democrat issue. It’s an American issue, and ultimately a world issue. There are so many problems here, but for now I’ll focus on one: sounding like a president.
I’ve listened to every president, Republican and Democrat, from the 23rd on (starting with Benjamin Harrison). They all had one thing in common: all of them sounded like they could be president of the United States. With one exception: Donald Trump.
Admittedly, when Donald Trump is reading a script written by someone else, Trump sounds like a president. But when Trump speaks words that actually come from the mind of Donald, we have what’s in the caption. And more. We have narcissism, paranoia, immorality, lies, and, in this speech, almost incoherent rambling.
Yes, we’ve had elements of all the above in other presidents. But none of them came close to The Donald. Donald Trump, by speech and actions, continually violates the values of the conservative Republicans and Evangelical Christians who supported the man, or veers off into incoherency. I keep hoping that the Republican Party and Evangelical Christians will return to their own values and stop supporting a supreme commander who is supremely unqualified for what is arguably the most important position in the United States of America.
In my opinion, the president of the United States should at least be able to communicate effectively and intelligently without having to use someone else’s words.
In the words of Donald Trump, “And hopefully the brain attached to the mouth. Right?”
Thanks to Fred Milton Olsen for sharing the image on Facebook which is how I found this.
An opinion of an individual member of The Loveshade Family does not necessarily reflect the views of the whole family.
United States Attorney General Jeff Sessions is using a Bible verse to justify ripping children away from their parents. They’ll hint the parents might not get their children back. The government actually admits they’re using this as a threat.
What kind of country is America anyway? Call or write your representatives!
An opinion of an individual associate or member of The Loveshade Family does not necessarily reflect the views of the whole family.
“X-Day is a traditional part of the Church of the SubGenius, a religion formed as a parody of cults and extreme religious groups, and their pamphlets and claims. X-Day fell on July 5, 1998, the scheduled ‘end of the world’ and has been celebrated on July 5 each year since then. From its inception in 1980, the Church had prophesied that an army of alien invaders (known as the “X-ists” or “Men From Planet X”) would land on the planet Earth and destroy the world of “normals”, “pinks”, and “glorps,” while the members of the Church of the SubGenius would be rescued by the aliens and taken away into space.” — Wikipedia
The X-Day Devival actually begins before July 5. Don’t be late!
X-Day 21 poster as seen at the link above is used to illustrate the event; no threat to copyright is intended.
An opinion of a member or associate of The Loveshade Family does not necessarily reflects of the whole family.
SCOTUS Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr.said:
“A shirt declaring ‘All Lives Matter,‘ we are told, could be ‘perceived’ as political. How about a shirt bearing the name of the National Rifle Association? Definitely out. That said, a shirt displaying a rainbow flag could be worn ‘unless there was an issue on the ballot’ that ‘related somehow . . . to gay rights.‘ A shirt simply displaying the text of the Second Amendment? Prohibited. But a shirt with the text of the First Amendment? ‘It would be allowed.‘ “
The author is a native of Minnesota. An opinion of a member or associate of The Loveshade Family does not necessarily reflect the views of the whole family.
In some parts of Australia, 15 year olds aren’t old enough to give consent to another person doing things with their genitals. In other parts, 16 year olds aren’t old enough. In some cases, neither are 17 year olds.
But babies are? A sex expert is recommending parents don’t change their infant’s diapers until the baby gives permission.
An opinion of a member or associate of The Loveshade Family does not necessarily reflect the views of the whole family.
Photo of female teenager by Tyfox is released into the public domain. Photo of newborn is by Dianakcline and is under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.