Order of the Pineapple 2017: Miley Ray Cyrus and Connie Dobbs

The original drawing of Pat Pineapple made by Ĕk-sĕn-trĭks Cluborguild member Tony Bruno in about 1982.

The Order of the Pineapple is only awarded once a year on January 18, and this is it.

The honorees for 2017 are: Connie Dobbs and Miley Ray Cyrus.

Miley Ray Cyrus (honorary DAP name Smiley Day Eris) was a Disney Princess who transformed into a Discordian American Princess.  She flashes the Discordian hand sign, sang the song ’23,’ changed her name from Destiny Hope to Miley Ray which is more like Discordian Saint Minnie Rae, founded the non-profit Happy Hippie Foundation, and twerked and spanked a midget.

Connie Dobbs is the first and primary wife of polygamist and Church of the SubGenius founder J. R. “Bob” Dobbs and the “;REAL leader” of the Church of the SubGenius. She has been an actress (primarily known for her work in childrens’ programs), model, homemaker, and is the founder of Home for Slackless Children, an inspiration for Shamlicht Kids Club.

The Order of the Pineapple is also called the DisOrder of the Pineapple and the Pineapple DisOrder, but it’s usually abbreviated O.P.  (The award has also been called Patus Pineappleus Bromeliadic and the winners The P.P. Bromeliadics or Bromedliaddicts). It honors those who have given extraordinary service to “the participatorial study of comedic attitudes and eccentric tendencies.”  The O.P. is awarded to very few people, those who are especially servicey.  It’s presented on only one day a year, January 18 CE, which is 18 Chaos of the Discordian calendar.  That date is recognized as Pat Pineapple Day.  Pat is the Mascot of the ECG and Patron Saint of the D D of the ECG.  It is absolutely required that members of the Order eat something containing or resembling pineapple on January 18–unless of course they don’t feel like it.

Congratulations to them both!

Alden Loveshade: Why Wait Til I’m Dead?

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IMPORTANT: As of this posting, Alden Loveshade is very much alive.

Alden has been to far too many funerals/memorial services in the past few years, losing a father, two brothers, uncle, cousin, etc.  So many times it’s come up: “Gee, I wish I said that when he/she was still alive.”

Well, this is your chance. Feel free to post what you’d post if Alden really was gone.  Then, when the time comes, you can say, “Gee, I’m glad I said that when e was still alive.”  Note that Alden has professionally published 2,000 or so obituaries, and couldn’t resist co-writing his own.

Alden Loveshade, writer, photographer, personist, philosopher, animal caregiver, friend and family member, has died.  In accordance with es wishes, this article uses the genderless “e” for “he,” “es” for “his,” etc.

E graduated with distinction with an Associate Degree in Humanities from MSJC.  E was a member of the national honor society Phi Theta Kappa, co-editor of the campus newspaper, editor of student publications, homecoming king (winning with a bag over es head), two-term student government president, and area vice president and state board member for the California Community College Student Government Association.  While at college e was a winner of a Student Leadership Award and a Special Leadership Award and was named to the Order of the Pineapple.  The U. S. Jaycees named him as one of the Outstanding Young Men in America.

Returning to college, Alden graduated Summa cum Laud from California State Polytechnic University, Pomona, with a Bachelor’s Degree in Theatre Arts and a minor in Chicano/Latino Studies.  E also became a member of the Golden Key National Honor Society.  E was co-creator and head writer of “Same River Twice,” a university-produced English language telenovela that won Best Film for Inland California Filmmakers, Smog Dance 1999, and was featured in the New York Latino Film Festival that same year.

It was produced with advice from Oscar and Emmy Award winning cinematographer Haskell Wexler, and under Executive Producer, writer, radio personality, documentarian and Emmy Award Winner Saul Landau.

E was also a director and playwright with several produced plays, including “A Very Bad One Act” directed by Daytime Emmy-Award nominee Ronald Layne Hoffman.  He worked as a reporter, newspaper columnist, book reviewer, researcher, investigative consultant, computer lab supervisor, teacher, web site designer, photographer, animal caregiver, and dishwasher.

E also published articles, short stories, poems, essays, play and movie reviews, cartoons, graphic designs, and photographs.  His work has appeared in a number of local, national and international publications under a variety of pennames.  Under the name Alden Loveshade, es work as appeared in a number of publications including Anaphora Literary Press, BBC, Flight Magazine, Guideposts Magazine, Hemet Magazine, Hungur Magazine, Intermittens Magazine, Sixfold Magazine, Yahoo! News, and Yahoo! Sports.  He also wrote under different names for a number of other publications including being a regular writer and photographer for a Pulitzer Prize winning periodical that is one of the 100 top newspapers in America.

As a singer, actor, playwright, director and in various other capacities, e was involved with about 200 community, college, civic, and professional productions on stage and in radio and television including choral, musical, drama, tragedy, comic, and one-act productions. E appeared in the world premiere of Will Eisner Award Hall of Famer Don Martin and Ron Hoffman’s mini-musical Mia Romantica Crazio.

E was a controversial activist who emphasized five basic beliefs.  These are 1) the rights of the individual, 2) the responsibilities of the individual to society, 3) the responsibility of parents and caregivers to prepare a child for life, 4) complete personal freedom in a free society if it harms no one, and 5) harmonious discord, accepting differences.  As a journalistic activist and investigator, e faced threats of incarceration and even death threats by phone, email, letter, and in person.  E spent time living on the street, and escaped after capture by an armed assailant.  Considering emself a “personist,” e promoted the use of the words “e,” “es,” and “emself” as substitutes for “he/she,” “his/her,” and “himself/herself.”

Es hobbies included historical recreation, acting, drumming, bicycling, being a lord of Sealand, and role-playing games, especially GURPS for which e was a playtester.

In lieu of flowers, it’s asked that donations be made to a favorite charity or group that supports the five basic beliefs.

IMPORTANT: As of this posting, Alden Loveshade is very much alive.

I am a Witch so do I Sacrifice Animals like Azealia Banks?

Azealia Banks by Manfred Werner (public domain from https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Life_Ball_2013_-_opening_show_034_Azealia_Banks_(cropped).jpg)

Azealia Banks by Manfred Werner (public domain)

Rapper and actress Azealia Banks is in the news right now because she said she’s a witch and apparently sacrifices chickens. She also apparently called the people of Brazil “third world freaks.”

I am a witch. Do I sacrifice animals and call people freaks?

No I do not.

I am a witch, although I prefer to be called a Wiccan; I am the High Priestess of a Wiccan coven. I have never sacrificed a living animal and no one in my group has every sacrificed a living animal. I do not believe in animal sacrifices. And I do not hate anything and that includes people in Brazil.

You can call most Wiccans witches, but some of them don’t call themselves that. That’s because many people have confused ideas about witches. And not everybody who is a witch is Wiccan. A witch can be anyone who practices magick arts. And some Wiccans don’t even practice magick! Some witches aren’t even Pagan, and there are even Christian witches.

If you want to learn more about Wicca, check my Wicca page.

http://lorien.loveshade.org/wicca/

Miley Spears, who is a vegetarian animal rights activist who is opposed to killing animals for food or hunting or sacrifice, helped with this blog entry.

An opinion of a member or associate of The Loveshade Family does not necessarily reflect the views of the whole family.

Photo from https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Life_Ball_2013_-_opening_show_034_Azealia_Banks_(cropped).jpg

Children: Protect Them or Prepare Them?

parenting_america_europe_sObviously, protecting children from danger and preparing them for life are both important. But America has gotten increasingly out of balance. The overly protected are the under prepared.

Many people don’t know that more 18-year-olds are abducted in America now than 8-year-olds. Boys and girls who are overprotected do not magically learn how to take care of themselves the day they turn 18.

This video contrasts modern day America and Europe. Perhaps American parents should stop and think about why the motto for both the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts is “Be Prepared,” not “Be Protected.”

Note that the combined experience of The Loveshade Family includes raising, teaching and tutoring children and studying child psychology.  In addition to the above mottos, the motto of the Discordian Shamlicht Kids Club is “Be Prepared for Anything” which is actually the intent of the Boy Scouts’ original motto according to its founders.

https://www.facebook.com/attn/videos/1195393347162789/

 

 

Alden Loveshade End of the Year 2016

alden_loveshade_aura_explodes-_sYes, it’s that time once again, time for another missive from moi.

This year is perhaps most significant for what has not happened; nobody I’m really close to has passed away.  For that I am very glad.

However, it has been a year for things falling apart and needing repair.  I fixed a gutter that leaked; got a computer working; got a modem working; cut/sawed/pulled/mowed small mesquite trees, wild grasses, and cat’s claw to make a path to the front tank (what those of you outside of Texas might call a “pond.”)  Am I handyman or not?

Well, not.  My intense mowing caused the lawnmower to start puffing out copious quantities of white smoke.  I looked at the mower and discovered what looked like a major problem–there was a hole in its side.  So we checked with the dealer–the hole had always been there.  It was the exhaust.  Oops.

Then just days after the warranty ran out on the television, the sound went out.  Great timing.  Did you know almost nobody fixes televisions anymore?  Just throw it away and buy a new one.  Anyway, this one got fixed, but certainly not by me.

My mom didn’t get a new hand with a carpal tunnel problem, but did get surgery to help fix it.  Mom is scheduling surgery for the other hand.

My long-running animal care gig is over, at least for now.  But I do have a couple dozens puppies–which are also kittens.  Both terms apply to baby mice.  I’m getting a young black-and-white mouse used to sitting on my brown-and-white dog’s head.

In the writing/publishing gig, I published some articles, edited a magazine issue, and did some graphic design for a couple of magazines.  I recently learned a book I helped with five years ago is being published.  Finally.

I finally got dragged to Six Flags for the first time.  I got pushed to try a “mild ride.”  I asked, “If it’s such a mild ride, why is it called ‘Pandemonium’?”

From a recent doctor’s visit, I learned that my weight is the highest it’s ever been.  Oops.  So it’s more exercise and less late night snacking.  And more mowing and sawing.

Have a Great Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, Merry Chanukah, Wonderful Yule, Fine Winter/ Summer Solstice, Terrific New Year!

Alden Loveshade

alden.lovehade.org

www.facebook.com/aldenloveshade

An opinion of an individual members of The Loveshade Family does not necessarily reflect that of the whole family.

Photo of Alden on the wall from self-portrait by Alden with graphics from http://cliparts.co added by Vance Lizza.

America’s Last Righteous War

The USS West Virginia and the USS Tennessee burn on Dec. 7, 1941, after Japanese aircraft attacked Pearl Harbor. | REUTERS/KYODO

The USS West Virginia and the USS Tennessee burn on Dec. 7, 1941, after Japanese aircraft attacked Pearl Harbor. | REUTERS/KYODO

Seventy five years ago today, the United States of America declared war on the Empire of Japan. America had what was widely recognized as a very good reason; the day before, Japanese forces bombed the air base at Pearl Harbor in the then territory of Hawaii.

That’s the last time America had a clear and present danger to itself as justification for declaring war.  So why has America gone to war several times since?

The Korean War of 1950-1953 was a colossal failure.  The United States got involved in an internal conflict when North Korea invaded South Korea.  North Korea today is widely accused of having one of the worst human rights records in the world.

The Vietnam War of 1959-75 was between North and South Vietnam. Again, there was no “clear and present danger” to the United States.

In the 21st century, it could be argued that the terrorist attack on the United States on September 11, 2001 was an act of war; the headline on some newspapers named it so.  But the War in Afghanistan didn’t begin because of an attack by that nation, but by a group of al-Qaeda and Taliban supporters.  America didn’t declare war on Texas because of the Fort Hood shooting of 2009, or on the University of Massachusetts because of student participation in the Boston Marathon bombing of 2013.

The Iraq War began with the United States leading a “preemptive strike” (unprovoked attack) on the nation of Iraq in 2003.  This was because the nation supposedly might pose a threat to the United States at some future point in time if certain things happened.

So why has America gone to war so many times in the last 75 years?  I consulted with a friend who’s an expert on American military conflicts. I asked how many wars had America declared in the last 75 years that proponents didn’t believe would benefit American corporations?  Without hesitation, he answered, “none.”

An opinion of an individual member of The Loveshade Family does not necessarily reflect the views of the entire family.

Donald Trump Sees Women as Sex Objects: So What?

Donald Trump on cover of Playboy. Cover is linked and copyrighted and appears here for illustrative purposes.

Donald Trump on cover of Playboy. Cover is linked and copyrighted and appears here for illustrative purposes.

Some of Donald Trump’s most prominent supporters are now backing away because of a 10-year-old tape in which he jokes about kissing women without asking and grabbing their genitals.  Why?  Haven’t they been paying attention?

The three-time married Donald Trump had an affair with his then future-second wife while married to his first, and impregnated her.  He’s bragged about his womanizing in both speech and writing.

In addition, he promised to water-board terrorist suspects (which could include women) and do “more than that” even if it meant violating international treaties against torture.  He promised to bomb fighters in Syria and “take our their families,” killing innocents including women and children in acts which could well be treated as war crimes, and then take their oil and sell it.

Then he wanted to violate the Constitutional guarantee of freedom of religion by barring all Muslims (including women) from coming to America.

His primary campaign slogan is “Make America Great Again,” which literally means he is saying that America, which certainly includes women, is not a great nation.  (If you don’t believe that’s what it means, ask an English teacher.)

What happened with his continuing statements that were so outrageous they could be considered increasingly Anti-American?  His popularity in America increased.

Now a 10-year-old tape of him making crude comments about women to another guy surfaces.  So what?  These are the same sort of comments probably millions of American men say to other American men when there aren’t any women around.  But suddenly many of his supporters are shocked at Donald Trump’s morality in regard to women.

Why?  Haven’t they been paying attention?

This blog borrows from Time Magazine’s Person of the Year: The Short List, No. 3, Donald Trump

The opinion of an individual member of The Loveshade Family does not necessarily reflect the views of the whole family.

Intermittens: In the Beginning

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Intermittens: In the Beginning (issue 11)

Intermittens, the Discordian magazine, is back after a five-year hiatus with “In the Beginning!” And it’s FREE!

*Tom Thornley talks about his brother Kerry Thornley for the first time!
*Kerry pulls a terrible Jake on Tom when Kerry’s dead!
*Alden Loveshade interviews Brenton Clutterbuck for Chasing Eris!
*Secrets of the Early Church of the SubGenius!
*”The Myth of Kopyleft” by Johnny Shellburn!
*Rare Discordianisma never before seen online!

WARNING: NSFW

Direct Links:

     Ek-sen-trik Discordians (Reverend Loveshade)

     KerryThornley.com (Johnny Shellburn, editor)

Learn about and see links to all issues:

      Intermittens on Discordian Wiki

     Intermiittens on SubGenius Wiki

     Intermittens on KerryThornley.com

     Intermittens on Seti 23 Wiki

     Intermittens on Ek-sen-trik Discordians

A post by a friend or associate of The Loveshade Family does not necessarily reflect the views of the whole family.

Five Years After Troy Davis Execution: The Problem Remains

I Am Troy Davis was published on the anniversary of his execution in 2013. (Cover under copyright used to raise awareness of the book).

I Am Troy Davis was published on the anniversary of his execution in 2013. (Cover under copyright used to raise awareness of the book).

Troy Anthony Davis was executed five years ago in America among international controversy for the slaying of a police officer.

There was controversy over whether there was enough evidence to convict him.  Many people, including Former FBI Director William Sessions, said there was not. And there was controversy over whether or not the death penalty was appropriate to a free nation in the 21st century.  Put a man in jail, and if you made a mistake you can release him. Kill him and it’s over.

Most witnesses against him recanted; one of the two remaining allegedly said he, not Davis, was the killer of police officer Mark MacPhail in Savannah, Georgia, in 1991.

The Antiterrorism and Effective Death Penalty Act of 1996, passed in the wake of the Oklahoma City bombing, made it much more difficult for a convicted person to get appeals.  Proponents claim it makes it harder for the guilty to postpone their execution with appeals; opponents claim it makes it harder for the innocent to postpone their execution and to show their innocence.

It largely comes down to a matter of priorities over life: would we rather let the guilty postpone their death, or the innocent be killed?